In A.P. Composition, February 9, 2012
THE DECLARATION OF ERIN CAMPBELL OF MCFARLAND, WI
Netflix has consumed time; it has taken time entitled to thousands of Americans and I, having a right to free, acknowledge the causes that have pushed me to declare myself separate from the institution of Netflix and its infinite supply of films.
I hold these truths to be self-evident, that Netflix is not only a destruction of the soul, but a destruction of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. Its creators should be held responsible, for they have thus created an evil which is unendurable. Under absolute Despotism, Netflix has surpassed necessity. I, as a citizen of a free state, wish to proclaim myself rid of such tyranny. To prove the resulting evils, let the facts be submitted.
It has put thousands of interesting movies at easy access to suck in many procrastinators and demolish the push for productivity.
It has forbidden me to go out into the free world by providing me with full series of T.V. shows.
It has dissolved business, such as Movie Gallery and Blockbuster.
It has given no opportunity for study.
It has made successors into failures with its in depth documentaries about cute whales and crazy Facebook stalkers.
From this day forth I recognize that Netflix and its creators no longer are my oppressors. I declare independence from my Instant Queue.
I really liked this! I can't believe you would want independence from netflix, it is the best way to procrastinate from literally anything, I love it! I thought all your reasons were hillarious, and I can't imagine you truly want to seperate yourself from such a great creation! Netflix is wonderful!
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